Brainfart

My room this night

Every night, I get this heavy upheaval in my chest, “Oh no, the deadlines are nearing once again” my heart says, and part of my mind goes out and says, “stop wasting your time on academics, naglolokohan na lang tayo dito, what’s the use?”. In all honesty, did I learn anything academic during this quarantine? I mean, of course I did. I learned that academics and the present situation of the pandemic, particularly being locked up at home, is not a good academic environment.

Countless times

Have I attempted to redecorate my room, changing it to some semblance of academic conduciveness, but it’s not. Call it first world problems, I was used to working outside, in the library, at starbucks, at some public mall area, those were the places where I could focus on doing academic work. Even the simple tables at school, but predominantly Starbucks and the library could I be left alone on hours on-end finishing a weeks worth of deadlines in one sitting. At home you’re left to your own devices, while it does show how one manages oneself, it also shows the methodologies one is more able to adapt with. My room, while I think is undoubtedly at the best state it is from its beginning state pre-pandemic, is still home. Home is a place I’ve been conditioned to designate for rest, for familial socializing, for enjoyment and hobby related endeavors. Home has never been my academic place, it is still however my everything else place, that includes work, hobbies, business, random planning, writing, and the list goes on.

Favors

At home, we’re dealt with so many things that we have to handle other than ourselves. We’re told to do chores, to assist in some thing that others need help with, maybe even to converse with family members to help alleviate the mood. I am actually the family’s personal chauffer, taking them to places they need to go.

MeNTaL hEaLtH

Scrolling through Facebook while having that mini heart attack associated with the time of day is fucking killing me every day. I know I’m supposed to make a decision to do x while instead I tend to do y. Yes, Facebook is a terrible way to spend your time; however, it is only symptomatic of a bigger issue: That I have made the decision to shut out school and academics. Why, to put it simply…

“I will not let my schooling interfere with my learning”
- Mark Twain

Damn, if you knew how much I’ve learned and accomplished this pandemic, in this past 6 months alone, how my mini endeavors have grown to be more and more viable, it’s not that I can be self-reliant yet, I can’t. But what I’ve learned beyond school is beyond what Mapua can ever teach with their quarterm + modular system. The problem with the quadterm + modular system is that it fails to take into account the learning pace of many students. “At your own pace” I see in several of my emails, yet where’s the effort from the professor? where’s the effort with teaching? I have one professor who has never taught a single class yet expects us to follow an online guide and just submit it once we’re done, it’s just so wrong? Professors are also substituting their teaching with just taking online courses, edi sana I just took the online course and not enroll in your class diba? Others naman put an effort to teach but use their existing methodologies pre-pandemic. They teach in such a way that does not adapt to online standards, they force synchronous learning, they force students to listen to 2 hours worth of lecture of them explaining their lives instead of explaining the lesson. Professors that make too much assumptions on the pre-existing knowledge of students and just expect the students to follow with their pace and know-how. It’s all so wrong. All so lacking. This is a new platform, make new methods, catch up. Don’t claim that we’re online ready just because we’re reading powerpoints at snail pace.

What’s next?

As I mentioned in my previous post, which was last night’s brainfart / midnight thought, there’s so much possibility in the world. I’m 20 years old and the world looks like an oyster to me, call it highly-optimistic, call it a moonshot, well that’s how the world looks like to me. Maybe napaso ako several times in the past, and maybe the next time mapaso ako ulit, but in this world we need to try, now I just need to work on the idea of persevering. What’s next for me? I need to tell my parents my thoughts, my plans of maybe pausing school, if not taking the minimum possible load, and focusing full-time on all the things I mentioned on my previous post. Maybe go vegan? Well, more research is needed.

If anyone asks what I’ve learned this term on my own (and in the past 6 months in general)

1. How to make almost a quarter-million pesos from 40K pesos. (no this is not an MLM mind you, I wish it was HAHA)
2. How brushless motors work, and a little bit about how sinusoids work and its implication on the electrical grid, plus how inefficient machines “dirty up” the power grid by unsynchronized voltage and ampere waves. (To ECE people, sorry for butchering this explanation)
3. How to do online broadcasting for events and how to broadcast a wedding.
4. How to do an online keynote, present to judges, and win 300K in cash.
5. How to contact multinational and international companies and ask them for price quotations. Maybe in the near future actually make that happen.
6. How to contact and partner up with companies to make things happen.
7. How to join online competitions and experience failure.
8. How to sell computers online and make a decent profit.
9. How to search for, trade, and make deals for the cheapest computer parts locally and internationally.
10. How to ship items from almost any first world country to the Philippines.
11. How to buy items from Taobao and other Chinese sites.
12. How to build an ITX system for the least money.
13. How to buy computer parts from Gilmore. (seriously I did not know this till a few months ago)
14. How to drive stick on hills and not kill the engine (thanks Sam)
15. How to bake keto food such as cakes, and how to cook keto pancakes and waffles.
16. How to make good (or semi-good) coffee and appreciate coffee as well.
17. My limits that I can’t do everything, impress everyone, and accomplish all that I want without sacrifices.
18. Being more open to family and to other people because being confined for the better part of 6 months, you realize that communication is key in everything, every relationship, every friendship, even in family communication is key. It’s better to over-communicate than not communicate or never show your thoughts.
19. I’ve also learned to wait, and realize that waiting has its own upsides. If I had went on that trip to Rome by myself, I would’ve wasted a good 350K that I would’ve borrowed from my sponsors, from people whom I barely knew, I would’ve been indebted in one way or another.
20. But I’ve also learned that every day there’s a new opportunity, there’s business opportunities yes, but every day we’re also given a new chance to change, to live better, to become better people, to be more open to our parents, our siblings, our friends, to show them we care by doing their small favors, to show them that we support their endeavors, every day is a chance to start a new meaningful venture such as teaching teachers, or inspiring others to act on injustices in the present system. Every day, if we’re too afraid to take chances, nothing will ever happen. Every day, if we take one small step forward, even if it’s in some random direction, we might not be one step towards our destination, but we’re one step forward towards learning.

Yours truly,

Gino Araullo