Midnight Thoughts
As I was thinking of all of my mistakes, mga pagkukulang ang whatnot. Napagtanto ko, what am I supposed to do now? Now that I’ve failed quite a few classes, now that I’ve dropped one and FDA’d on another. It’s truly a new season, a new precedent for me undoubtedly. The question now is, what am I going to do about it? Am I going to suck it up and blame the pandemic? Make a reason? No.
We only live a limited life, an infinitesimal life, yet one filled with so many opportunities. Today I watched a documentary about the vegan diet and being responsible about ones community health and personal health as well, that’s not even the tip of the iceberg, but let’s just say I’m convinced to try and change my actions just a little bit. Today I also made a couple of purchases off Amazon to try and supplement my personal wants and needs, hinatid ko rin sila ate to the doctor and found out that the car was already defective, need to run for a quick (or long) fix tomorrow.
I talked to Jim about cheating on the rest of the term, after all, I did have the financial capacity to do that, a feat that many couldn’t say they have the ability to do so. It felt wrong, it felt awfully against my moral code. To pass, without even trying, yet I sent the signal. As fate would have it, I told myself I’d lean back to God, and his response to me was don’t. I’m no narc nor kj person, but after the utter disappointment in my throat of Jim (and company’s) decision to reject my offer due to the sheer load on their shoulders as well, well, I don’t know eh. I think it was a sway in my moral compass to keep pointing north, or at least an attempt to by fate.
What do I want to achieve in this pandemic? Financial independence that’s one for sure, but another is having a project that’s mine, that’s utterly successful. I used to loathe the idea or concept of buying and selling because I thought that it had no contribution to society whatsoever, but now I’m rethinking that well, I’m not making money in any way now, why not? I do need it to sustain myself, but that’s definitely no long term feat. A close friend of mine redefined the definition of investing and debt, the concept of buy and sell as well, and it made me want to continue on my process of finishing what I started with BayaniHub.
Finally, I want to learn more one way or another. I want to get a certificate from CS50 just to make sure that I’m not letting go of my learning (not schooling), then again, every day is a new lesson for me.
Giving back is another thing I want to get started with, if not with my financial capacity, at least with my skills with tech and knowledge of media production and the like. Teachers absolutely need to be educated with modern media amidst the current online setup, and while I don’t blame them for not knowing, I’d like to guide them.
These are my mini resolutions from now. Oh and ano na rin, maybe try going vegan for its alleged health benefits, as well as using my urges into working out instead, because why not?
Testing, 1, 2, 3. Fail fast, learn faster. I do want to get a seat at the table one day, and the only way to do it is to start acting.
